Yes, Brain Disease. Well, really, we don’t know. It seems that my new new team of neurologists think my issues could be due to a brain disorder and are looking for genetic testing focusing in on my specific heritage. We haven’t started yet, but the fear and the panic attacks have started. I dreamed I was running away and almost broke my big toe against a very real bedpost in a stride during the pain-mare running away from the unknown.
My stutter and facial issues are getting more difficult to control. Reading and singing are becoming more challenging. I can see myself going down hill and all I can think about is what can I do to set my wife up. I don’t want to be remembered with regret or sadness. In my current 54 years of life, I have lived a lot. I have lived in the Eastern and Western Hemispheres. I’ve spoken (badly) eight different languages with a host of people. Mostly, people are good. They just want to feel validated. They want to know that you are listening to them and are doing it without disdain.
I’m including you on this journey from the beginning, and I hope to a quick end where the docs come up and say, “yes, the broken toe caused your neuro-muscular disorder” and all will be over. In our previous journeys, I’ve include you, my dear reader, from the middle. This time, I plan on carrying you the entire path. I wish to convey that medical diagnosis do not just entail the mechanical medical issues, but also a myriad of psycho-social issues as well. I pray this is not a descent into the maelstrom but a yarn of riding out the storm with a well-seasoned captain to the sandy beaches of evermore.
Please join me on this journey as we once again, Soldier on.
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